How am I feeling as I commence the first two subjects of what will hopefully become a Masters of Divinity?
- I am strangely feeling very knowledge-less. Despite all the stuff I know is in my head already, it feels like I am a blank slate ready to be filled up with information
- I am feeling very unsure of how well I will manage the study commitments alongside all the other ‘stuff’ in my life
- I am feeling under pressure to make the most of each day; to use my time most effectively and to not squander too much time; to not put off till tomorrow what I can do today; but I need to be careful to not obsess too much about future commitments that I neglect to live each day. For example, I find in myself the tendency to spend a lot of time today getting ready for tomorrow. Sure, it means that tomorrow will probably run much more smoothly, but I’ve just sacrificed one day for the sake of another. Sometimes this may not be worth the sacrifice
- I am feeling excited about investing more of myself (time, energy, money) into pursuits that I believe are of eternal value
- I am enjoying the feeling of uncertainty around what the future holds (of course this is always the case, but by deliberately making decisions that have removed certain allusions of security such as full-time employment, I am more aware of my lack of control); of feeling risky; of feeling a pinch into my comfort and security
- I am enjoying the opportunities I am getting to talk to people about my work and study plans. I need to think more about how to frame the conversation in such a way that I can talk of my love for Jesus and his people; which are really the driving motivations behind my plans