the one thing

I love to sleep, its the thing I do when I need to relax or unwind. Its the thing I do when I need a break. I love sleep – always have, always will. When we lived in Sydney, it was not uncommon for Cade to go off for a run, and whilst he was gone – I would have a sleep. He couldnt understand how I could nap during the day – and I could not understand that he couldnt nap during the day…
The one thing that I miss about being a teenager is the ability to sleep – wherever and whenever I wanted to. Now, I am not so lucky. I have developed “mothers ear” which means I can hear EVERYTHING going on around me and unless there is complete silence, I cannot rest. I cannot have a clock ticking, a heater going, someone snoring, child moving – no noise.
The other thing is that I get very grumpy when woken during the night. Yes, I know that as a mother, this is sure to happen to me for the next 20 years or so, but I cannot help but get a tad on edge when woken on numerous occasions throughout the night.
Last night was “one of those nights” here in our house. I went to bed at 9:30pm in hope of getting some well needed sleep. TB is teething (4 top ones all at the same time..) and Mooba has been sick with a cough thing all weekend. They had both been sleeping quite well, which I did think was a tad strange, but in the back of my mind thought that they had just developed my love for sleeping well all night long…
By 1:45am, I had been up to re settle TB 6 times and Cade had been in once. When I looked at the clock and noticed the time, I went in for my 7th go, and then said to her “thats it Tali – no more” as I walked out the door in a huff. She screamed at me thru the closed door and I could hear the tears dripping down her face. So, Cade got up and had another go, as I had got back into bed and was not getting out anymore. Finally, about 40 minutes later, he shut her door and – SILENCE. She was finally asleep.
Off I drifted thinking this is it – sleep time now, until at 4:15am, I woke up to Cade saying “Moos calling for you”. Up and down we both went for another 2 hours, until when I looked at the clock and it said 5:50am, I thought – if she calls out again, she can just come into our bed, cause at least Ill be warm then.
I must sound like a terrible mother – both of my children were not feeling well, and all I could do was worry about my selfish sleeping that I wanted – but in the middle of the night, my brain does not function very well at all. The first thing I did this morning as I got them both out of bed was give them a huge kiss and cuddle and told them how much I loved them, and also whispered “please have a long lunch time sleep today so mummy can nap”…