to blog or not to blog

has been the question that I have asked myself on a number of occasions about topics regarding personal issues and things that the kids do or my wonderings about certain things. What will people say or think about what is written is the first thing that comes to my mind – which after 28 years, I really shouldnt worry about. So, this is a part of what has been going on with us over the past few months..
After our 20 week ultrasound that sounded and looked fine, we were told that #3 had “delayed growth of the femur and humerus bones”. I learnt this as I was leaving a clinic appointment by the midwife announcing in front of a full waiting room of people that “there is a problem with the scan”. I, naturally being dramatic, went straight home and “googled” what she had told me. Every single listing came up with reference to Down Syndrome with the short bones being a soft marker. To say I was shocked is an understatement. I sat on the floor and cried for my baby and more selfishly cried for myself.
The hospital said that we needed to see a specialist, which we drove to Canberra for. They confirmed the growth was delayed – it was measuring 4 weeks behind the rest of the measurements of the baby. The professor told us that it could be 1 of 6 different things – some bone problems, it would just resolve itself, down syndrome or it could just be a short baby. They offered for us to have an amnio test done, which would determine if the baby had down syndrome or not – but we declined. There was no other testing that they could do to figure out what the problem might be, so we began a waiting game that has seen some days become a lot longer than other days.
It has taken me almost 20 weeks to try and get my head around what will happen if the baby is born with anything “different” from all the other babies born every day. The pressure that society puts on babies being “healthy & perfect” is unfair and this is really the first time I have ever thought about it. I always just assumed that everything would be fine. The unknown stuff is the hardest stuff to try and get your head around – because we feel that we have the right and the power to be able to “know” everything and try and correct it if it seems like its not “normal”.
I have always found it hard to leave things in Gods perfect hands – but this last 20 weeks has really taught me that there is nothing that I can do and whatever the outcome, it doesnt matter. Everyone is born differently, raised differently, taught differently and loved differently. All that we can do is pray for the strength to be the best parents that we can be and pray for and love all of our children unconditionally.
Our baby will be born in a few weeks time and will be a precious gift from God no matter what.

7 thoughts on “to blog or not to blog”

  1. Oh Lisa. Thank you so much for sharing. As Kev said we’ll definitely be praying for you. But also, thanks for being brave enough to post. It’s a beautifully, honest post and it must’ve been hard to hit Post. So thanks. Anything more I can say will just sound stupid and unhelpful. But I do wish I could give you a hug.

  2. I Love you two So much and I say “thank you Jesus, for showing these two young people the right way”. Your message will surely help other prospective parents to make good decisions and realize life is so precious. You are just super parents! You girls can only gain from any hardships. I’m coming round to give you that hug and of course I pray for you every day.

  3. What will people think? I don’t know about others, but this person thinks you are brave to write this. This person has tears in her eyes reading your blog. Not pity, but compassion and trying to imagine what it would be like to contemplate what you and Cade have had to over the last many months.
    This person will pray for you all. This person is glad you wrote this honest blog. This person sees Jesus in you.

  4. Dear Lisa and Cade,
    Thank you for sharing, I’m sitting here wondering what to write. You amaze me, the trust you have put in God is just wonderful. When I think of me and the upbringing I had (my uncle does ultrasound and my mum worked for him) I would want to know just to prepare myself, but you have put it in a whole new light, your trust and honesty, and faith have shown me the true living Father. A Father that loves us all just the way we are – perfect because he made us. I wish you had shared sooner so we could have been praying for you during this agonizing time. I love you both you are wonderful parents and fantastic people and I know you will cope with whatever happens because you have both shown your unfailing love for Christ. Hope to see you all soon – a happy, healthy family of five. xoxoxoxo

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